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Wayne de Jong (son)
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(9:12)
Herman de Jong was many things to many people. He was the loving
husband and life companion of Stiny, and a wonderful father to 7 children, a
dear Opa to 14 grandchildren, a great brother and uncle, a good friend to many,
and a child of God.
When I arrived in his life, not long after Henry, Dad was already a respected
teacher and accomplished organist. From my perspective as a shy little boy he
had a very high profile -always standing at the front of the classroom, or
sitting at the church’s organ. I was in awe. It wasn’t very “cool” to be the son
of a teacher though, and we all got picked on a bit, but I was still proud of
him – except when he would pinch my cheek in public. Although students poked fun
at him, I could tell that they also liked and respected him, and loved his
stories. I’m sure that they learned what they needed to from him, but also about
life, faith, humour and music. He was a great teacher, but his first love was
music - playing the organ, directing choirs, teaching organ and piano, imparting
his knowledge of and enthusiasm for music to many others – including his
children.
Dad had many talents and virtues, and a warm and loving personality, and life
was good - but there were trials and struggles along the way too, including
doubt and depression. We children were rather oblivious to these struggles at
the time. To us, he was just Dad – loving, stern, funny, serious, happy,
sometimes sad, Dad. I loved him, however he was. I loved to hold his hand and
sit in his lap. I loved how he would pick me up and toss me around, playfully. I
even loved how he smelled.
Dad enjoyed being with his family - also his siblings and in-laws. We loved to
be with them too, and our many cousins. Our home was always full of guests and
Dad was a good host, entertaining everyone with music and funny stories. There
was always lots of singing and laughter. The house will be too quiet now.
Dad left teaching in 1970 after 16 years and started an upholstery business. He
did high quality work and supported us all very well. It was difficult work
though – aggravating his bad back, and impairing the dexterity of his organ
playing fingers. He sacrificed a lot for us, we could see that, but we were not
always glad to have to help him pick up and deliver heavy furniture, and strip
it in preparation for re-upholstery by the master craftsman. He also liked to
renovate the house and build additions and sheds, and we got to help him with
that too. He worked so hard, but also helped Mom around the house – particularly
when she went to nursing school and then began working herself. He enlisted our
help too, of course, and we all pitched in then – especially Gerine.
After moving to Jordan Station in 1979 Dad resumed the upholstery business for a
while, but it was slow and he was tired of it. He worked for Salem, and later
for Friendship Groups, and was a strong promoter of those causes. He became
quite well known in those roles. Who can forget the “Salem mobile” he drove, and
Ex-Inspector Van Halsema? Again, I was very proud of him.
Marriages began in 1980 and our spouses were warmly welcomed to the family.
Grandchildren started appearing in 1982, and they were the icing on the cake.
They loved their Opa dearly, and he them. It was always a joy to visit Mom &
Dad. Dad was ever present, a steady but quiet influence on us, not offering much
advice, necessarily, but always supportive. At times he seemed a bit bewildered
in his roles as father and Opa, by the busyness, noise and confusion around him.
As his hearing deteriorated it became harder for him to pick up conversations
above the background din, and this was frustrating. He would often tune out,
read a book, get some “fresh air”, or take a nap. He missed a lot, and we missed
him.
He was a prolific writer in those years – books, stories, articles, letters and
emails in 3 languages. Many, many people enjoyed his writing, and for Dad it was
a great way to express himself and share his deep feelings and beliefs. I do
wish I could have seen more of those writings much earlier. He was not one to
show off his work
Dad sometimes seemed to feel a bit out of place. Perhaps he never truly felt at
home in Canada. He loved to visit the Netherlands, especially Terschelling. I
will always cherish the time that we travelled together in Holland after Oma de
Jong’s funeral.
But best of all, Dad liked to be home with Mom, lekker rustig, reading, writing,
puttering around, playing or listening to music, and making furniture that we
will cherish even more now. As we and our families grew he continued to do the
things he liked best and find fulfilment in working as an organist and choir
director. But he also struggled at times with his role in life, and with the
addiction that ultimately took his life.
Dad provided amazing support for Mom during her recent cancer treatments and
surgeries. He summoned up all his strength, even while – unknown to anyone - his
own cancer was likely already growing and spreading within him. As Laura said
“he was a real Superman.” He lived a life that is worthy of our admiration and
respect. He served the Lord to the best of his ability, and we thank God for him
and his love for us, and the example that he was to each of us. I don’t know how
we will fill the gaping hole that he leaves. He was my rock, my foundation. I
loved him and will miss him terribly, but I will not crumble. We will all miss
him so much, especially Mom.
He was taken from us too soon, and too quickly. But we rejoice that he died
peacefully, without much pain, at home, and surrounded by loved ones, and we
take comfort in knowing that he is now with his father. When some of his
children and grandchildren sang a hymn during his last hours on earth he must
have thought he had already arrived, and was probably already wondering about
serving as organist and director for the heavenly hosts. He praised God in life,
and will now continue to do so, forever.